Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
