McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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