Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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