Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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