I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
