she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I didn't notice because vodka
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Oh god it's open bar.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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