How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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