Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
