Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
