You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
