did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
