Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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