I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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