dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
