i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
