and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
