She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
