we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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