That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Randomize
