your parents love me but you hate me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
His nipple licking is glorious
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