My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
