Jerry, you need to find god
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
