'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
