My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
