how can u be prego again
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
