is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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