I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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