I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
