totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
When are your genitals available?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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