it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
