so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
