You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
