I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
