you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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