A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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