I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
