I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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