My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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