this must be what syphilis tastes like
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
