if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
