my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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