Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
