is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
