he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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