Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
