if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
