We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
