Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
