i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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