I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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