I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
