You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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